An Argument For a (Sorta) Skimpy Black One-Piece
A low back and minimal butt coverage are way more flattering than you think.
Currently I’m on day 2 of 3 days of scuba diving certification in the Bahamas with Citizen Watches. Anyone who knows me knows I’m more of a winter baby than a beach baby — open water is sorta (read: very) terrifying to me. But I never say no to an adventure and more importantly, I never say no to doing an adventure sport that’s mostly male-dominated. It’s less about being stubborn (although I’m also that) but more of an inherent desire to never fail at anything. That’s literally how I learned how to snowboard: I’d fall, get back up, fall again, curse out my husband, injure myself, freak out, rinse and repeat. Now I don’t really do any of that while on the mountain, but in the ocean? Well, I spent the first five minutes freaking out completely and almost bailed. If my husband was there, I’d definitely curse him out but I held my tongue with my very, very, very patient scuba instructor. A few minutes of talking me off my ledge, I was a lot better and went about the rest of the dive. Just don’t look at my stubbed toe or the broken blood vessel in my right eye (I overcompensated when I was trying to clear my ears apparently!)
Figuring out what to pack for this trip was surprisingly easier than I expected. Shocker: I don’t own a ton of tropical destination friendly clothes but for some weird reason, I’ve amassed a bunch of black one-piece swimsuits over the years — an impressive amount considering I tend to get into a body of water maybe twice a year, at best. They’re all similar for the most part because I aggressively weeded out the ones I don’t like and now I have a solid formula for what works for me.
Before I get into what I hate in a swimsuit, let me preface this by saying this is probably not a great roundup for women with larger chests. Because I don’t like or require a ton of support, I immediately ditched anything with underwire or any sort of push-up effect as I’m really not into contorting or squishing my boobs in any way. Another detail I hate are thick, wide-set straps — I have fairly narrow shoulders so all they do is cut me off visually. I know these are details most women who have larger chests look for, but sometime in the future there will be a guest editor who can speak to that much better than I can! And finally, the fabric should not be so compressive that it feels like I’m in a vise nor should it have any sheen to it — the latter makes any swimsuit look super cheap.
For me, the most flattering style has a few details in common. The first are ultra-skinny straps that sit on my shoulders, without digging in, creating a clean line. Usually this means that there’s either a plunge or some sort of dip down the front, which works in my favor because it also helps elongate my neck. There’s one caveat for the first rule: if it’s a high-neck/halter silhouette that also works as well. Both silhouettes make my narrow shoulders look broader and more balanced with the rest of my body.
The second detail that I’ve found flattering is a low back — the scoop should bottom out at the base of my spine. It reveals good amount of skin without making me feel too exposed, which keeps a one-piece from being frumpy and matronly. The fabric should be fairly lightweight without being see-through, matte, and just enough compression to create a sleek line.
And finally, this is probably the most controversial detail of them all: the butt has to be skimpy. I’m not saying it needs to be a Brazilian cut bottom, which is basically a thong in my mind, but it should definite not be full coverage. I promise you, this cut makes your ass look way perkier — like you’ve been doing squats on the regular at the gym, even if you only do leg day at most once per month.
On that note, here are a few that I wear and some similar styles that fit all of these requirements:
For Las Vegas as well as my current Bahamas trip, the first bathing suit I packed was this keyhole style by Anemos, which is in the pic above. I normally never wear cutouts but this one is pretty perfect — it’s a strip of skin that always looks toned, no matter how lazy I’ve been with exercise. The back is low and the butt is just skimpy enough for the requisite lifting effect. It’s chic enough for both of these work trips without being frumpy or overly revealing.
My absolute favorite favorite swimsuit is by Tory Burch and sadly, I don’t think they make it anymore! It’s a super simple one-piece with a plunging back and camisole front that I’ve also worn as a bodysuit at times as well because it’s just that flattering. That said this version, which is on sale, is a great similar option. The back has a bunch of criss-cross ties, which I know are a pain to get in and out of without help, but a little contorting is worth it.
Mikoh was the first brand that really sold me on the merits of a skimpy bottom. When the swimsuit (which is in the first pic) crossed my desk, I was ready to donate it to a co-worker because I was so afraid of having part of my butt hang out. But on a whim, I wound up bringing the one-piece to a wedding in Hawaii, where it turns out every girl on the beaches of Oahu was in something similar — and they looked good. I guess peer pressure counts for something because the next day I wore mine and never looked back.
The one I have is an older style but this one is similar and on sale!
This Isabel Marant option is closer to the Mikoh option that I own, although the bottom does offer a little more coverage. It’s also pricier but the plunging neckline definitely sold me!
Speaking of high-neck swimsuits, this option by Tôteme cuts away at the shoulders, sits low on the back, and reveals just enough at the butt to also be a good choice. I think it’s the fact that you can see a bit of under butt by the inner thigh that gives it the lifting effect.
And finally, this is another halter that’s a great option if you have narrow shoulders but still want to reveal a bit of skin. Again, a keyhole cutout serves as the perfect peek of flesh and underboob, otherwise it would feel incredibly matronly and overly covered up.
Speaking of vacations and vacation dressing, there’s a part two to this newsletter to come on Sunday, which is everything else I’m wearing while in the Bahamas and really, anywhere else hot or tropical. See you then!
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Could not agree more!!!! Remember the “tanga” bikini underwear from Victoria’s Secret? They cut super-high above the hip bone and made legs look like they went on for miles.
Enjoy Bahamas!